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Whoever Had The Keys Jul. 17th, 2010 @ 02:25 am
Whoever had the keys
Cut a new set for you
The same old lock
But led somewhere new

Whoever had the remote
Pointed it your way
Pressed forward-wind
Then at me, pressed play.

Whoever had the idea
Showed it to you
And you ran with it laughing
And I watched as it flew

Whoever set the table
Saved you a seat
But you'd already dined
So I sit, and I eat

Whoever had the keys
Left open his doors
So I stole his remote
And at myself, pressed pause
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy

Hello again old friend Dec. 17th, 2007 @ 01:55 pm
Haven't seen you in a while LJ!
I just amused myself greatly with reading my past entries, so thank you. I don't remember writing any of them! Which just hightlights the need to write in you, LJ!

I see you have new stuff! Voice posting? Embed media? Cool. I'm afraid I've not been much of a good friend to you. I had a brief fling with MySpace and then a long obsessive affair with Facebook. And for that I am sorry. I hope it's ok that I check back in with you again. I hope you're keeping well.

Anyway, since we last spoke, much has changed. Logan is 22 months old, Indigo is 3. Indigo and I are at the stage where we can have full on conversations on the phone now, which is what I used to dream about when she was just a baby. Logan on the other hand just says "na na na na na!!" whenever I ask him to say Daddy.

I am pleased to say that I am still obsessively in love with my wife who just gets cooler and cooler as time goes on. We went to a fetish party last weekend. Our second experience of anything like that and, although not as good as the first, still fun. We stayed at a hotel that we staggered into at 4:30am Sunday morning. I followed that with a full day at work starting at 10am. The babies were being looked after by my mum and brother. I think whenever we get someone to look after the babies (which is once in a blue moon) we just want to go and do something utterly adolescent crazy because it's SWEET FREEDOM!

Workwise, my lovely new studio needs some major tidying and I desperately need more clients because we now have NO disposable income. Thank God for credit cards. I'm still working weekends at the bank which is still £300 short of covering the mortgage. But the wife has just re-started the advertising campaign so that ought to do the trick. Plus, she now wants to be a professional pole dancer! How cool is my wife?

Our newly formed record company, Giant Records is pretty inactive at the moment, as we're still waiting for the bloody money which has been about 6 months in the coming. It's our artist's Dad that's coming up with it, he's just going through the contracts (which we've had to pay for ourselves which is another reason why we're broke). We do have a band though and a residency at the Water Rats (next gig 20th Jan) and we'll hopefully have the video finished soon which promises to be wicked!

Today, I am finishing the album for my Swaheli artist who has tonnes of people to send it to. One of the songs got played on BBC radio last weekend and there is a very enthusiastic DJ guy in the BBC who is determined to get it out which is excellent.

OK, off to the studio to do that now. Check back in with you soon and I've missed you!

Jun. 18th, 2006 @ 04:55 am
I'm bored at work again. I just did a gig, fronting a band at a birthday function. And it was so much fun. I haven't sung like that, (or been given opportunity to sing like that) in a long long time. Oh I do like a good Mustang Sally from time to time. So, finish the gig at half past midnight, and start my shift here at 2am. Bit of an anti-climax to the night really.

I got the gig quite by accident, when my ex-band pal, Val, recorded at a studio run by this guy who organises these gigs, JB, asked her if she knew any singers. I'm no singer but the last time we partied together was at my wedding three years ago when I spent much of the evening on stage wailing Frank Sinatra and James Brown covers. From this, she calls me a singer. But they thought I was fantastic and want to use me again! Result! (Sorry, JB uses many football euphemisms). And he said the sweetest thing to me, he said he believed in fate and he believes I was one of the people that he was meant to meet. Bless.

Jun. 4th, 2006 @ 02:52 am
I'm at work and there's nothing to do. I find I am quite thankful that there's nothing to do, however, generally, if I'm going to be doing nothing I prefer to do it lying down.

I write in this thing so infrequently I think it would be prudent to do a quick snapshot of where I am right now, as of June 2006. It's for my benefit more than anything as I have an awful memory. Please feel free to skip the next few paragraphs.

I'm tired. Almost all the time. Working overnight at the bank all weekend does mess me up a bit, plus the extra 30 to 40 hours of overtime each month. I'm glad for the money, but it never ever seems to be enough. The debts I have accumulated over the years only ever seem to increase with time. If I told you how much it totaled, you'd probably think I should be suicidal. I remember really panicking over a single credit card that I owed £700 on - I find that utterly laughable now. The rest of the week's work I spend in the loft - my studio - doing sessions. I have an average of four sessions per week. The cash is very handy and the work is always interesting. And for every hour I am at the bank or in the loft I am wanting to be with my wife and kids.
My little little Logan is going on four months, Indigo is rapidly approaching two years, and I feel I'm missing it. Indigo is constantly saying new things and I find myself with an astonished look saying "Did she just say 'shoe?!" or "Did she just eat that entire piece of cake?" and Katy just nods matter-of-factly. I'm missing Katy too. There are many many things happening with her right now that I'm sure she feels she just doesn't want to burden me with because I'm so busy all the time. The mess is really getting her down, clothes everywhere, (clean I should add), toys everywhere (including the sink), DIY to be done, (everywhere), and it may seem like not a big thing to get stressed over but I have to keep reminding myself, it's not me who has to constantly live with it.

To maintain some level of sanity, I have always felt I needed a certain amount of time to devote to a) my wife, b) my children, c) myself, and d) my siblings and friends. It seems lately I've only been seeing my children, and even then only for a couple of hours every morning before I start my first session or, in the case of the weekends or Monday, before I have to go to bed!

Then there's 'the album'. This 'quite-cool-thing-to-be-doing' turned wretched gargantuan thorn in my backside.

It's for Nadine Naidoo, a South African songstress/actress/TV presenter/humanitarian. She's a good singer, a good writer, a hell of a tenacious worker, and she claims to understand the pressures and constraints that I have to work under, (having two babies under the age of two, having two jobs, having no money), but that understanding went straight out the window a week ago. After having waited three months for me to deliver her album, she decided enough was enough. She wants to take it out of my hands. She has another producer in South Africa she wants to give it to to 'finish it off'. I am naturally, pissed off, but also very wary. The very first track I'd recorded with her was re-produced by an SA producer. The song was literally stripped bare then made to wear pink feathers and dance like a chicken. My fears were partly realised today when she told me that she wanted to use a previous, much inferior version of a song that I'd been working on for days and had made sound sh*t hot. She says she liked it 'how it was'. God give me strength! This album is supposed to go global but if this producer is anything like the last one, NO-ONE'S GOING TO BUY IT!

So that's got me tearing my hair out. I do more of that album whenever I get a spare minute. (Although I count I've only had eleven of those in the last ten days). In fact, when I get home in the early hours of the morning, (in about four hours) after sleeping for maybe an hour before Indigo or Logan or both wake me up for the morning shift, then after Indigo's been fed, changed and kept pleasantly amused for a couple of hours, after the mid-morning handover, I need to go and do three more mixes ready for Nadine's meeting on Monday morning with some distributors - of which she gave me zero notice. It's strange how someone can be thousands of miles away yet be so completely in the foreground.

Album rant over, here are the things that I want to achieve within the next 6 weeks:

1) I want to make love to my wife without having to stop halfway so the baby can breastfeed.
2) I want to go to a cinema... or failing that, just to be able to watch a movie all the way through.
3) I want to spend one ENTIRE day with my wife and children, out of the house, and in the sun.
4) I want to put all of Nadine's tracks down onto disks and DHL them down to SA and never think about them again.
5) I want to record a song for myself, just myself, which is the whole reason I got into this in the first place.

Wow, your life really does seem to stand still when you have babies, and it's not even me that has to be with them all day, it's my long-suffering Katy who has to do it with almost no help at all. It really gives me a new understanding of what my own mum must have gone through. Well, at least I can be there for her in the mornings. I'm just not always 'all' there in the mornings.
Current Mood: draineddrained

Nov. 25th, 2005 @ 11:04 am
Procrastination, hmmm, procrastination.
Procrastination, that's what you need.
If you have to clean your house, and you have an absent spouse, hmmm,
Procrastination's what you need...

If you're gonna be a BABYMAKER... yeaaaah!
Other entries
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It's amazing the random crap you remember. And the stuff you forget. Anyway, here's some of the random crap I remember:

1. When I was a toddler, I much preferred crawling to walking, and I hated wearing bibs.

2. When a train is late by 1 minute in Japan, they make a public apology over the PA.

3. In a psychology lesson, around 15 years ago, in an experiment to test memory, I was asked to write a jingle for a series of numbers which I can still remember to this day: 3114872647381

4. Kenny Everett was born on Christmas Day.

5. On a customer service training course, also to test how we remember things, I was taught how to count to ten in Japanese by bodily gestures; (and these are all spelled phonetically): itchy, knee, sun, she, go, roku, shitchi, hatchi, queue, jew.

6. You have less chance of dying in an aeroplane crash than you have of being kicked to death by a donkey.

7. I was sent to Starbucks once to order just one drink which I literally had to write down: "a tall-skinny-extra-hot-soy-wet latte." I don't know why I remember that, I just do. Incidentally, I once went into a Starbucks and asked for a coffee. Nobody knew what the hell I was talking about.

Anyway, I finished my 4-week course on Office XP today in preparation for my new DTP job, but everything went horribly wrong. The computer just refused to do anything I was telling it to. At one point, my characters were flying between my left and right margins whenever I released the mouse button. I would say God was testing me, but it wasn't God, it was the Presentations Department of a bank I'm now not allowed to mention, and if I failed, I'd be out of a job.
I get the results back tomorrow but I think I'll be ok. I did finish it and only got a couple of things wrong.

In the meantime, the baby gets my wife up at idiot o'clock every morning as I've not been there for the morning baby shift for the last 4 weeks. It has turned my bubbly toffee-smothered love muffin into a sleep-deprived soggy-leafed sour lettuce. But a lettuce who cooks me a different meal every night, looks after the monster all day, washes my socks and irons my shirts. Now that's love!
It's going to be my last morning shift tomorrow though, after that it's 4 more weeks of training but on the 5pm to 1am shift. So much better for wife, however, with the late nights and the baby mornings, I'll slowly turn into a pak-choi. (To the vegetably challenged, that's a chinese lettuce).
» (No Subject)
It was my first day at the new job today, specifically training to do outsource desktop publishing projects for a bank. (Don't ask me, I just work here). It's 8 weeks full-time training, (all paid, but less than I was earning before), at the end of which the pay shoots up and I begin doing very funny hours indeed. I'll be doing 8pm to 8am Saturday and Sunday. But I'll have the rest of the week for sessions. Not sure how the sleeping patten is going to go though.

Katy's really dreading these next 8 weeks though as it will be her doing the baby mornings - Indigo tends to wake up somewhere between 7 and 7.30am these days - and she'll be left to deal with her single handedly while steadily going through one of the worst preganancies in recorded history. And I'm kind of dreading working 7 days a week for 8 weeks. (I'll have to keep doing my sessions on the weekend as the training pay just isn't enough). However, I do know I am the luckier one. Katy would trade places with me in an instant.
Anyway, I'm hoping this experience won't kill either myself or my wife and that it's the start something better.

Today was just orientation; getting to know what they do, what we'll be doing and who we're working with. It was all fairly relaxed. The office building we were in was the size of Russia. It's the kind of building that looks as if it should be run by someone they call "Emperor" or "The Overseer". I've got a card that gets me security clearance for the toilet and canteen. If I'm there long enough I'm hoping I'll eventually get enough clearance to see the vending machines.
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Hi Luke! Here are a selection of pictures of our delightful house. I'm sorry they're not wider but we couldn't figure out a way to get the whole rooms in in one shot! I hope these suffice.

The rooms that are nearly finished need "finishing touches". I don't know how to take the radiator off and don't want to try! This is the dining room, one of the nicest rooms in the house and not even a room which I consider to need attention!!

Our bedroom. Yes, we sleep in here and so does Indigo! Ancient plaster periodically falls off the wall in the middle of the night. This room really does need attention.

Our bedroom from another angle.

Indigo's bedroom!!! I did the plastering behind the radiator myself and am rather proud of it if I may say so. I was so tired after doing the plastering though that I had to go to bed for two days. (Pregnancy doesn't agree with me!) Note the rather lovely boiler in the corner of the room. One of the things that I wanted done as soon as we moved in but rested on the bathroom being finished, my other main priority on moving in.

Indigo's bedroom from another angle.

The living room. So close to being done. I even laid the floor with a friend of mine and decorated it myself, but can't get the damn fireplace in and am scared to try and sort out the electrics myself.

The living room plug. Ideal for a crawling baby. : )

The three light fittings in the living room in various states of disarray. Only one of them works.

View one of the bathroom. We had planned to remove the wall between the WC and bathroom to turn it into one room. Frustratingly we already have the lovely new bathroom fittings including huge corner bath, new toilet (not avocado!), shower cubicle and sink sitting in the bathroom shop. I keep worrying that before we get the bathroom done the shop will go bust and we'll lose our lovely fittings!

We use the end of the bathroom as a store because the sink doesn't work anyway! The bath taps leak and the side panel is a couple of sheets of ancient lino.

Mmmm, beautiful avocado with rusty radiator!

Me and Indigo.

My lovely but non-DIY oriented husband Ivan.

Obviously I can send these to you much larger if you need me to! Thanks so much for calling and I hope to hear from you again soon. Katy x
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Left, right, left, second right, left, right, left. Simple. That's the journey from the tube station to our new house. We've been here a week, and before we moved in I was plagued with visions of myself hopelessly wondering the streets of Bounds Green. Luckily there's a Costcutter store that's at the halfway point to use as a landmark. Still, even with that I found myself once doing a "left, right, left... ooh, packet of bacon-flavoured Wheat Crunchies... left, right, left, left... ooh, another packet of bacon-flavoured Wheat Crunchies..."
Second in my series of unmanly moments is actually each and every time Alan (the builder) explains something to me. I just do the 'knowing nod' dance. "...and we'll slice an inch off that corner and bond over the cross-section where the flashing's come away and then we'll seal the top and that way you won't get any problems when it comes to the plastering..." Then he sends me to the hardware store to get some 'Sugar Soap'.
First I get lost on the way there, have to phone my wife for directions, and then, once there, after minutes of aimless wondering, have to be shown what 'Sugar Soap' is by a fifteen-year old girl.

I do manage to steer clear of most of the manly DIY duties about the house, thankfully, with the excuse that I have to look after the baby. She needs to be carried or fed or amused constantly. She's just coming up on 6 months so I'm trying not to swear around her now. And it's hard, especially when you get computer rage. I mean I really don't want her first words to be "Fuck OFF warning page has expired!" (which is incidentally why I'll never have a daughter called Page).
I don't not-swear very well. I mean "Sugar or Phooey or Whoopsey" just isn't right. I long for the day when swearing is totally socially acceptable. You could get on a bus and say:
"Oh, shit it. I'm short of a cunting 10p, mister driver"
"Don't worry, I'm not really fucked. Hop on, you old cunt".
Wouldn't that be a pleasant day?

Anyway, wife and child are asleep and I'm off up to join them in a minute. Our bedroom at the moment is the only room not covered in plaster dust and bin liners. Until tomorrow...
» (No Subject)
Haiku by tchiko
it doesn't stop there
i've got to be at work in
an hour and a half
Haiku! by Hutta.

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